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With astonishing honesty, this memoir reveals what mental illness looks and feels like from the inside, and how healing from borderline personality disorder is possible through intensive therapy and the support of loved ones.
With astonishing honesty, this memoir, Get Me Out of Here, reveals what mental illness looks and feels like from the inside, and how healing from borderline personality disorder is possible through intensive therapy and the support of loved ones. A mother, wife, and working professional, Reiland was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder at the age of 29--a diagnosis that finally explained her explosive anger, manipulative behaviors, and self-destructive episodes including bouts of anorexia, substance abuse, and promiscuity. A truly riveting read with a hopeful message.Excerpt: "My hidden secrets were not well-concealed. The psychological profile had been right as had the books on BPD. I was manipulative, desperately clinging and prone to tantrums, explosiveness, and frantic acts of desperation when I did not feel the intimacy connection was strong enough. The tough chick loner act of self-reliance was a complete facade."
- Sales Rank: #30141 in Books
- Color: Paperback,
- Published on: 2004-08-04
- Released on: 2004-08-04
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.75" h x 1.30" w x 5.10" l, 1.11 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 464 pages
Review
Touted as the only book of its kind, this is a firsthand account of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). An accountant and mother of three, Reiland (a pseudonym) tells the poignant story of her life, which included all-too-familiar episodes of anorexia, promiscuity, impulsiveness, suicide attempts, institutionalization in a mental hospital, and often unrelenting, anger-intensive, violent, and unpredictable behavior. This is not intended as a text for treatment but a story of how one person lived with and overcame an affliction that many professionals view as untreatable. What results is a gripping, fast-paced narrative that's often hard to put down and will no doubt inspire sufferers and caretakers to march on. It is a story based on stark reality and hope, much like Steve Hamilton's I Want My Life Back. Recommended for all public and academic libraries as a complement to treatment guides like Jerold J. Kreisman and Hal Straus's I Hate You, Don't Leave Me. Melody Ballard, Washoe Cty. Lib. Syst., Reno Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information. (Library Journal)
About the Author
Rachel Reiland is a wife, mother of three, accountant, and writer living in the Midwest. Through a combination of psychotherapy and spirituality, she has managed to overcome anorexia and borderline personality disorder, a shadowy and often misunderstood form of mental illness.
Most helpful customer reviews
102 of 104 people found the following review helpful.
Truly the perfect book for someone with borderline that is out of answers.
By C. Turner
I had been looking for the perfect book to read to help me with my ever increasing struggles with borderline personality. I had read the "self help" books and the books that tell the symptoms accurately, and in depth, but what I wanted this time was a book written by someone like me, in hopes of feeling less alone. When I was reading the reviews for this book, I found many of them that said the book was "inspirational" and everything like that, and then I read reviews that said it was "simplistic" and "reiterated points over and over", and I wasn't sure if I should even bother.
After getting the book for free, I decided there was no reason not to at least read it.
The book starts off as described by negative reviews: simplistic. Symptoms of borderline that everyone with borderline sees in themselves were laid out in plain language and not presented in any way that can't be found in the vast "self help" books. At this point, I started to become disappointed and afraid that the book was going to be a waste of time.
As the book progresses, Rachel becomes worse, she finds herself, although in recovery, lashing out in ways she never imagined and hurting everyone around her. There were times that I read the book and I found myself hating her, and worse, I hated myself.
And then, as Rachel finds herself becoming sucked in to the depths of her disorder, and getting out of control, layers and layers of broken coping mechanisms that had appeared nothing more than abusive, manipulative and selfish reveal the true nature of the borderline personality: never ending fear of being forever alone and unlovable.
It was at this point that the mere presentation of common symptoms became much more: as Rachel begins to understand herself, the symptoms are shown to the reader as more than dysfunctional coping mechanisms: they are given a sense of humanity and drive and begin to show the motives of nothing more than a terrified, humiliated child, reaching out to be unconditionally loved.
This was when I realized that the progression of the book was perfect: the book begins, as described, very simplistic, as Rachel doesn't understand herself and only sees destructive behaviors that she can't make sense of. And then eventually the complexity of the book becomes overwhelming, as Rachel sees her inner most feelings and tries to cope.
This book, to be blatant, could not be fully appreciated by someone who has not personally felt what it is like to live with borderline personality disorder. To someone on the outside: it is just a case of a psychotic woman who finds treatment and recovers. To someone with borderline: it is a chilling account of their very own life, innermost fears worked through by complete strangers.
There are so many things in this book that are revolutionary for me, that trying to sit here and convey them feels almost impossible. Although I read reviews of the book that complain that it is reiterative, and the basis of therapy is nothing more than constantly repeating the same explanation... that is the core of the borderline personality. A persistent need by that person to find love and hold on to it as tightly as possible, and no matter how many broken coping mechanisms they force themselves to work away from, they find themselves with more, different broken coping mechanisms in hopes of achieving the same task.
Dr. Padgett presents a therapy technique for Rachel that is so much more than I could have ever imagined experiencing in therapy. He presents the one thing that people with borderline truly need: unconditional love, a feeling of safety, while still experiencing limits and boundaries in the face of their destructive behaviors. Although Rachel becomes painfully aware of how dysfunctional she has become, she is never led to feel by Dr. Padgett as though she is bad or wrong, or that she doesn't deserve to be happy. Without this, I don't believe that her feelings could have been dealt with.
The explanation of the book is correct in saying that it is in no way a self help book, and will never lead anyone to recovery. What it offers, instead, is something much more realistic: measurable, achievable results for someone suffering from severe borderline, in turn giving the reader an intense sense of hope. The book shows the many many layers of borderline defenses come crashing down, and never for once is there an unrealistic overnight "Aha!" where Rachel suddenly feels better, because this is not how it works.
As someone who has suffered from borderline for what feels like every waking hour of my entire life, and struggled with therapy and medications to find no answers, this book gives me something to hold on to and helps me believe that I can one day be like Rachel. I hope that many other people with borderline, out of answers, pick up this book and find the strength to continue on.
16 of 17 people found the following review helpful.
until I saw the best psychiatrist I had ever had
By Brandy McGuire Gresock
As a "borderline," I have conflicting feelings on this book. I was diagnosed 12 years ago, at the age of 19. BPD is often misdiagnosed, as it was in my case, until I saw the best psychiatrist I had ever had. The main thing with BPD is that it is very difficult to treat. I admire Rachel's tenacity in her treatment, but I (and I know I am not alone) sometimes struggle with this. This book is good, but I just fear that people may be miseducated about BPD: not many people can say they're "recovered." I am very proud of her, but I've been working 12 years on this, and I am still a very long way from being recovered. Just as a warning: please don't think that your loved one can be "cured" by doing what she did. Everyone is different, and what worked for some people may not work for anyone else.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Enlightening, brutally honest and courageous work
By Jennifer K. Paweleck-Bellingrodt, Psy.D.
This is an amazing book on the subject of borderline personality disorder (BPD). A patient recommended it to me, and it's one of the best psychological/self-help books I've ever read. Never have I read a book that so honestly and vividly depicts the painful mental gyrations of a person suffering with this personality challenge. It reads like a novel, and I had a hard time putting it down. I rarely read books more than once, but I could easily pick this one up again and start all over. It is so powerful and descriptive.
I have since recommended this book to numerous patients and providers. Patients report feeling normalized or "less crazy" (their words) upon reading this book. Ms. Reiland's story encourages them to work hard in treatment and keep the faith that things can be better with hard work that is sometimes painful and always challenging in the beginning. As a provider, it gave me a greater understanding of the depth and breadth of the thoughts and feelings that those with BPD deal with on a daily basis. This has helped me develop new techniques--as well as refine the old ones--for combating the issues associated with BPD.
I truly admire Ms. Reiland for her bravery and willingness to be so honest with herself and the world as to what it's truly like to live with BPD and face its demons on a daily basis. So many of those with BPD suffer in silence, mutilate themselves and/or take their own lives, so I try to proliferate this book as much as possible in an effort to alleviate any suffering possible. I recently recommended this book to the mother of a budding BPD so that she could better understand her daughter and start helping her before her daughter leaves home for college, with the hope that her daughter will continue her treatment even after she leaves the family home.
I also commend Ms. Reiland's hard work and persistence, very evident in the book, at overcoming the urges and impulses that accompany this personality style. Kudos and thank you for writing such an impressive and enlightening work.
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